If I am wrong, Correct me
If I am lost, Guide me
If I start being ungrateful, Remind me of my blessings
If I start to give up, Keep me going
Let me start with a disclaimer. It has been so long (years) since I last wrote in my blog, so I am just going to try my best in this one. Do not mind scattered thoughts and amateur writing.
It is May 24th 2020 today, we are in the middle of the coronavirus pandemic also known as COVID-19. It is a deadly respiratory disease that started in the city of Wuhan in China, in December 2019. It was a story we used to hear on CNN, until it started killing thousands in Italy, and by March 2020 it had spread all over the world and declared a global pandemic.
It has been two months since I last stepped in the office, and we have been on a country wide lockdown for about the same period of time.
Now, this date in particular is important to me because I am counting down 29 days to my last year as a twenty-something. I turn 30 years old on June 23rd (the best date in the calendar 😊). As mentioned in my Instagram post, I have been thinking about my 30th birthday since December. I had actually planned for a gate away, I had gone over the plans with a travel agent and we’d agreed I’d pay in March for the trip, luckily the pandemic was declared before I did because we know how difficult it is to get refunds from Kenyan companies. Coupled with the uncertainty of when we will start traveling again.
Anyway, this blog is not about my coronavirus experience, I will dedicate an entire blog for that. However, since it dawned on me that I will not be having any grand celebration for my thirtieth birthday, and the silence that came with staying at home, I have had a lot of time to introspect into my twenties. I have looked back at where I started, after campus, and where I am now. The dreams I had while I was in campus, the path my career has taken, the milestones I’ve made, the friends I’ve kept, those I’ve lost, the mistakes I made. The disappointments I’ve had, oh and have these been many but I have also had my fair share of luck. I have overthought (is this a word or can I add it to suectionary) sometime and had serious headaches because I didn’t think I am where I would want to be. I decided to write one thing everyday for the next 29 days about my lessons and experience as I introspect, hoping that it will inspire someone.
I started the blog with one of my favorite prayers. I saw it somewhere, tweaked and added my bits in there and it has become one of the simplest prayers I usually whisper. I found this amidst one of the challenging situations I have gone through. A friend of mine asked me to pray to find the answers I was looking for. I told them that I hadn’t been praying much and my faith was weak. Now if you have gone through such a situation you know sometimes you start doubting God and asking a lot of whys. You know, like during childhood, when expecting Santa to bring you a present because you’ve been good all year long. She told me something powerful, ‘don’t let the devil win, keep the faith’.
Prayer, If I could define it is simply telling a Higher Power your thoughts and wishes and believing that the Higher Power is listening and will grant them to you. I believe in Jesus Christ as my Lord and Saviour and the son of God who is the Almighty. Other religions call to a Higher Power by other names, but what I believe is that we all have the same intention.
I have seen the power of prayer in my life, and the one thing that we all have to know is that the answer to our prayers is not always yes, sometimes it is maybe, sometimes it is no. It is hard to accept a no, I mean, in any situation. Usually the maybe takes you a different route, sometimes the yes takes a long time that the timelines we’d wish for.
For me prayer is more than resigning our fate to a Higher Power, it is a way of visualizing our wishes and having a strong conviction that it will be done. In Christianity we call this faith. And faith is what really makes that difference. You do not just ask, you must have a strong conviction that you believe you merit what you are asking for and that you are ready for it.
From interaction with various people and from reading, I have come to know this also as Visualization. And I think visualization is equivalent to faith, for those who do not conform to Christianity. I will talk about this in detail at a later date.
It is important to add that prayer must be accompanied by action, if you want something so bad, then you should work like you actually want it that bad. You cannot just wish and sit back and wait for miracles. You have to put in the work. We need to help God help us 😊
Finally, life may not make sense sometimes even with prayer, but we should never lose the faith. Pray, believe, count your blessings every day, we will be okay.